Post II (May 22, 2011)

So since I'm not really sure how to do this thang, we'll wing it.  These post are in chronological order.  Because the first one is from my old blog, I'll give you a bit of background.  The early morning hours of May 18th I firmly decided to leave Omaha because my mentality had literally broken down, and the only thought I had was to leave immediately.  I had been drinking heavily the night before, and around noon on May 18th, I put a box of poetry, my clothes, and a box of ceramics in my car, and headed for I-29 to Kansas.  I ended up in Denver two days later, which is where the re-birth happens, but the 1st post is Sunday May 22nd.  We'll back-track with post III to give you a better understanding, but I want to try to keep this in chronological order as much as possible.  So here is the post from www.brasblog.blogspot.com

Sunday, May 22, 2011

So I've just opened the blind from my extended stay hotel, that I can barely afford, and let the day in. It's almost noon, in Aurora, and part of me feels like a fool for grabbing what I could, not paying my rent, and hopping in my car to try and find a new life, west of where I was living. Omaha, was done with me, and I was done with Omaha.

Now in Aurora, stressing until I can get some stability. And I understand that money ain't everything, but I'm quickly running out of what I had. This was not the reality check that I had expected, but it's what I got, so a brotha is tryin' to stay positive and let The Most High do his work. I know that I'm a work in progress, and The Most High has been helping me out, but patience is not one of my strong points.

I will go out tonight and perform at the slam, hopefully make some good connections, and find somewhere to stay past Wednesday. I have cd's to sell, and having good product is good, but I would feel safer with an actual job. I've never been a believer in myself, enough to start my own business, or hit the road to do this poetry thing. Even now I am feeling like all this was a mistake, but I have no other choice.

Monday I will go to Art from Ashes and speak with the people there, then hit up Ted at Argonaut, and probably call someone at the Catholic charities for some assistance. Also I'm debating about going to sell some plasma--probably will do that too. I also realized that while I have two forms of picture ID, I do not have my birth certificate, or ssn card, I feel like I'll be homeless come Wednesday.

So this is my blog, this is where I am; Aurora, jobless, running out of money, short on patience, faith in The Most High, preparing for a open mic, and scared. Having faith in The Most High, I go forth with my day experiencing what comes next.